I would never admit this around my cultured colleagues at The New York Times Magazine, but I am a big fan. It’s a guilty pleasure, I admit, like Duran Duran, Gawker or spooning peanut butter from the jar while watching "The Biggest Loser." I know your stuff is schlock. But like a good bowl of mac’n’cheese, it’s gooey and warm and perfect for a cold winter’s afternoon when you just want to curl up and hibernate your synapses for a while.
In some ways, you are the anti-Method actor. Whereas Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep and Daniel Day Lewis contort their bodies and faces and voices to become a character, you just kind of show up. Same haircut, same accent, same mannerisms. It’s Crash Davis as a cowboy, or it’s Crash Davis as a Union soldier, or it’s Crash Davis as the Louisiana D.A.
But it’s your birthday, and I came to praise you, not bury you. If you had given us nothing more than Crash Davis and Ray Kinsella, you could have called it a career. Then tack on "No Way Out," "American Flyers," “Tin Cup” and “For Love of the Game,” and you've done all right for yourself. I can find reasons to like a lot of your movies, warts and all:
Do I like "Open Range"? No, I don't like it. I fucking love it. It's probably my favorite movie of yours. Do I wish you didn't fire about 15 bullets from your 6-shooter in the big gunfight? Sure, I do. That was ridiculous. But I fucking love it anyway.
In some ways, you are the anti-Method actor. Whereas Robert De Niro and Meryl Streep and Daniel Day Lewis contort their bodies and faces and voices to become a character, you just kind of show up. Same haircut, same accent, same mannerisms. It’s Crash Davis as a cowboy, or it’s Crash Davis as a Union soldier, or it’s Crash Davis as the Louisiana D.A.
But it’s your birthday, and I came to praise you, not bury you. If you had given us nothing more than Crash Davis and Ray Kinsella, you could have called it a career. Then tack on "No Way Out," "American Flyers," “Tin Cup” and “For Love of the Game,” and you've done all right for yourself. I can find reasons to like a lot of your movies, warts and all:
Do I like "Open Range"? No, I don't like it. I fucking love it. It's probably my favorite movie of yours. Do I wish you didn't fire about 15 bullets from your 6-shooter in the big gunfight? Sure, I do. That was ridiculous. But I fucking love it anyway.
Do I like “Dances With Wolves”? Of course. Do I wish Stands With a Fist didn’t have frosted highlights in her teased and feathered hairdo? Yes. She looks like she’s from the Sioux band that fought the battle of Rodeo Drive.
Do I like “Robin Hood”? Sure. Do I wish you didn’t sound like a beach bum from Malibu? Hell, yeah. When Russell Crowe revived Robin Hood, he faced criticisms that his accent was more Scotland than Northern England, and I’m sure it was all he could do not to say: “Are you fucking kidding me?! Scotland vs. Northern England? Did you people hear Costner do Robin Hood as if he were Pauly Shore?” Right in the middle of your big Sherwood Forest soliloquy, I half expected you to say: “I believe in good Scotch, softcore porn and opening presents on Christmas Day!” Oh, Robin of Locksley, you do give speeches!
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